I wanted to do a post dedicated to Rocko,

This post is going to be full of pictures of him.

I got Rocko in July of 2010, I can’t remember the exact date, but I do know month and year. I was looking for a while for a dog and looking at all the sites for rescuing animals. I found his picture by chance. He was in Bonner’s Ferry, Idaho. I can’t remember the exact town, but I know that’s the area. It was three and a half hours away. They expected us to do just a meet and greet then come back if we wanted him. I decided before going up there; I wanted him. He was only in all a happy dog. He was a couple years old when we got him. Though, when we brought him home, he got scared of princess and was able to get out of his collar. I had to chase him down to the river. He was a master escape artist lol. It took a lot for him to stop running away from us. I think it wasn’t till after we got Jeb that he stopped running. We got Jeb the month after we got Rocko.

This is right after we got him…

Here’s a picture of him with Jeb…

He was such a good dog. He was my fluffernutter. Rocko knew how to get me to go to bed after he would eat his dinner. He’d nudge me and keep doing it until I’d go into the room. He would always want cuddles before going to bed for the night. When he was done with his cuddles, he’d jump off the bed and lay on the floor. Brandon would come to bed, and if he weren’t ready to go to bed, he’d refuse to move and keep jumping on Brandon’s side of the bed until Brandon would tell him to get down. He’d stare at me, looking at me, wanting me to keep him up there. I can’t say how much I miss him.

It was not long after we got him. I have to say he was terrified of men. I have to say the only guy he wasn’t frightened of is Brandon. We tease Brandon that he’s too feminine because Rocko said so LOL. But he would warm up to men after they came over a few times and showed him that they’re okay. There were a few people he would not warm up to, but they didn’t come over very often.

He loved being outside. Especially the sprinkler and hose. Here’s a link to a video.

It’s on my Facebook page if you can’t see it just let me know. There’s a lot of baying in the video because Jeb is a Bluetick coonhound, and they howl like no tomorrow.

They had a schedule with their food, and they knew when that schedule was lol. Though Rocko had a food allergy, he couldn’t have any grain. Otherwise, he would break out in spots and then chew it raw. We had a cone of shame on him for a while until my brother told us about his dog not being able to have any grain. His dog had the same problem. So we put Rocko on the same diet, and his skin cleared up. We resorted to cheese as his treats at night. We also made sure he would get grain fee wet food at night for dinner. German shepherds are prone to having that allergy, and with him being a part german shepherd, it made sense.

Oh, I didn’t say what breed he was. He was Rottweiler, german shepherd, Akita, Huskey, and blue healer. I know he was quite a mix lol.

I know having another dog will not replace Rocko. I just missed having him here and thought I could form a new bond with a new dog. Rocko was there for me when I felt no one else was. He spent time with me when I needed someone. I was happy to have him in my life. Here’s some more pictures of my baby I miss dearly.

He was in his happy place next to me on the bed. This next photo is of Rocko a couple weeks before he passed. We were doing everything we could to make him comfortable.

The disc’s in Rocko’s spine ruptured and was rapidly deteriorating. His hind legs stopped working first. We got him on meds, and he responded to them well, but after a week, his front legs stopped working. They told us that even with the surgery, he most likely would have been able to use his legs and that he was in a great deal of pain right then. I didn’t want my baby boy to suffer, so I made the hardest decision to let him go. It hurt so much, saying goodbye.

This photo was moments before we said our last goodbyes. I had him cremated and had them make an imprint of his paw print. I asked them to have him cremated with his blanket. He loved that blanket and always slept with it. I sobbed when I got his ashes and pawprint. They even took some of his ashes and mixed them with some seeds of flowers to be planted. I’m waiting until we move to plant them and have them bloom. It’s something I’ll treasure forever.

Shocking I posted again lol!


So to stick with my plan on keeping up to date with postings on here’s we go…

Let’s start with school and how that is going so far. I’m currently taking Math 87, P.E., History of the Pacific Northwest, and A.S.L… I’m thoroughly enjoying A.S.L. but the others I’m struggling to keep my attention and focus on. I know the history class is heavy with the writing, and I have a paper that’s due next week. I’m trying to print off everything that I’m supposed to read. I get motion sickness when I read online. So, I try to not focus on the screen when I write. I also take a lot of breaks when writing on my computer.

On November 26, 2019, I got my third tattoo. I can’t afford to get princess, honey, Jeb, Rocko, Yuki, Cleopatra, and Sophia-sassy-pants individually tattooed on me, so I got 6 paw prints, a bumblebee and a dragonfly on my right inner calf. I know that’s not enough paw prints, but I have a thing about things being in 3’s, so I’m sticking to it until I decide to do 3 more paw prints. Oh, and the paw prints are in the colors of the rainbow. Obviously, from the pic below, lol… I’m getting another tattoo on January 28, 2020. It’s going to be of a bat, cat, a peony flower, and a semicolon. If you know about the semicolon movement, you know that I’m getting it for planning suicide. Here’s the website about it . I feel very strongly about getting this tattoo. The peony means healing, and I love animals, so I wanted either a bat or a cat in it. I wanted a cat because Yuki has helped me so much after I lost Rocko. The Bat because they’re one of the most misunderstood animals around. They do so much for the ecosystems that they’re apart of. If I was a wildlife Biologist, I would exclusively study the bat. If not with bats, maybe with gorilla’s or orangutan and teach them ASL. I want my tattoos to have meaning to them, so I’m getting ones that have a close meaning to my heart. Oh! I forgot to say where I’m getting my new tattoo. It’s going to be on the inside of my right forearm. Here’s a picture of my newest tattoo…

This picture is right after I got it done…

(Update, I just heard from my tattoo artist, and he asked me if it’s okay if it’s a cat skull, I said I would love that. I’m excited to see what he’s coming up with. I can’t wait to post a picture of it!)

If you know me, you know I love Halloween. This past Halloween in 2019, I did something I called the Haunted Hunt. I don’t really celebrate Easter, so I decided to do something like an Easter egg hunt, but Halloween themed. So, I got little plastic ornaments that you can fill, and I spray painted them orange, black, and white. The black ones I put wings on and made them bats. I had smaller black ones I put fuzzy legs on and made them spiders. The white ones I put some cloth over and made them ghosts. Lastly, the orange ones I put stems on and colored in pumpkin faces. Oh, and the others had googly eyes on all of them lol. I invited over both my bothers and their girls. My best friend and her daughter, along with her sister and daughter and son. I hid all the characters around the yard and had the kids hunt for them. Oh! And I put together goody bags full of stuff for them and so they could use those bags for hunting with. I’m hoping to do this every year. Last year was the last-minute planning, so I couldn’t do it as well as I wanted. But this year I’m going to put aside money for it and plan better. I thought of it at the beginning of October. I loved that everyone had fun. I’m hoping to make it a yearly tradition. I love Halloween so much, and I love all the kids I want to make memories with them. I want to make memories for them too. I want it to be something they look forward to. I’m hoping that they do look forward to it every year. I’m just trying to decide how to decorate the balls this year. Also trying to figure out how much money to set aside for it. Here’s a picture of the kids!

Working in the library has helped me so much emotionally. I know I went over it in my last post, but I love being at the library so much. It reminds me of when Cindy and I would walk downtown, go into Nordstrom’s and try on $500-$900 dresses take pictures then put them back. After we put them back, we’d go into the library cause it’s connected to Nordstrom’s. We’d check out books and read them that night and the next day or two do it all over again. I have to say being at the library reminds me of happy times. People don’t understand that I enjoy the work I do there. I changed my mind because of working at the library and remembering how much I enjoy being at the library.

I’ve changed what I’m studying, and I’m going for a library technician. They still offer it at Spokane Falls Community College so far I’ve taken classes that are required for it. I just got to include a computer class now. I still have 5 extra credits I can use towards a course. I did have 8, but I use some for an extra P.E. class, which is the class I’m in now. It’s a weight management class that I felt would help me a great deal. I need to lose more weight and get back to eating healthy this class will help me to do that. I got to go to the gym, which I think I might do before math class. We’ll see what I plan on doing. I might go to Planet Fitness since I have a membership there. Be kind to use it for working out and not just for the showers lol.

We have no hot water at the house. The piping needs to be fixed when we get money, we’ll fix it. I’m not going to make my best friend pay for it. She’s already doing so much for us. Letting us move in there and stay there for the first month without payment. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate her and her hubby. I love them to pieces. They do so much for us and are so understanding of our situation. It’s hard to find people like that. I want to repay her for everything she’s done for my family; I just don’t know how and me.

What else is there to talk about?

I’m working on a cookbook that’s going to consist of recipes from my grandma. I’m making them and seeing if they work with today’s appliances and ingredients. I’ve made a few, but I need to make more. I told my co-workers that they’re my guinea pigs for the food. Lol. So, far they’ve loved everything I’ve made. I want to work on creating new recipes. I just got to find time between all the homework lol.

I’m taking 17 credits right now, so 4 classes. History is the most time-consuming. I gotta get through the work before I can work on certain things. I have to do an interview with someone who lived here in the Pacific Northwest since the 1990s. I’m thinking of doing the meeting with my mom unless someone else says they want to do it. It has to be about their life, not the history of the area but the history of their life. I have to record it and use it to write up a paper. I have to turn in the questions I’m going to ask and who the person is. Once I do that, I can do the interview. Then I have to write up a transcript of the meeting and turn that it. Oh, and I have to read through the book we’re using for class before I can do any of that lol. It’s so much to do, but I don’t mind. I like to read and write, so I don’t remember all the work that I have to do. P.E. I have to keep a log of my habits, workouts, and food. I’m trying to do that. I’m logging my food on, but I’m supposed to do it on a log she gave to us. I’m not recording it as much as I’m supposed to. I was supposed to log it every day this week, and I missed Monday. I don’t feel I’m doing very well. I know I have more to say I just can’t think of it at the moment. Maybe I should just work on homework and see if I think of anything. I’ll make it into my next post. Like I said I’m going to try and keep up with posting on here. I’m hoping to stick with it.


Happy 2020!


So it’s been a while since I’ve said anything on here. My life has been in chaos. I don’t want to talk about the negative, so I’m going to talk about the positive.

I know I just said I wasn’t going to talk about the negative, but I feel this needs to be said so it’s understood why I got into counseling and DBT. I had a psychotic break and it took a massive toll on my marriage. It got to the point I was considering and planning on killing myself. My husband talked me out of it and I got the help I needed thanks to him. At first, I just got on medications for it. I was on medications first before I got into counseling. It wasn’t until I gained a massive amount of weight and was perusing getting bariatric surgery that I got into counseling per requirements of my medical insurance. It was then I went to Frontier Behavioral Health and was diagnosed with having Borderline Personality Disorder and was put into intensive outpatient dialectical behavior therapy, also referred to as DBT. I started DBT in July 2018 and was assigned a counselor and had to take classes to better understand what it means and what it takes to control yourself while having a personality disorder. I had an amazing counselor who helped me realize why I acted the way I do and why I do certain things. It’s made me think of many things and better understand myself. I was in DBT until July 2019. That’s when I graduated from the program.

During my time in DBT, I decided to go back to school. At first, I enrolled in non-credit classes and was taking classes at Spokane Falls Community College. After taking a quarter of those classes I enrolled in credit classes at Spokane Community College. I first enrolled in A.S.L. 121 which is an intro class into A.S.L.. I thoroughly enjoyed being in A.S.L. and I’m currently in A.S.L. 122. I took psychology 100 and a health class on stress management. I ended up taking classes in the summer which was guidance 102 and English 99. I had so much fun in English 99. I think what I enjoyed the most was doing a research paper. I did my paper on Borderline Personality Disorder. I went back to school in the fall and signed up for English 101, Math 21, and P.E. I have to say P.E. kicked my ass lol. But I lost a lot of inches off my waist. The total of inches I’ve lost is 26 inches. But I know I wouldn’t have been able to lose all the weight if I didn’t have bariatric surgery.

I had bariatric surgery on April 25, 2019. I’ve lost 78lbs so far and 26 inches off my waist. I’m currently in a weight management class so I can try and lose more weight. I gotta do better with my eating. I know I’ve been eating a lot of carbs so I haven’t lost much. I gotta do better. I had the surgery on a Thursday and was back at school that Monday. Everyone said I should’ve taken more time off of school but I didn’t want to get behind on A.S.L. and psychology. I knew if I got behind I would’ve struggled to catch up. I know me and I know how I am. It’s best for me to keep up or ahead than get behind. After the surgery, I was sent home the next day and I couldn’t hold down the pain meds so I ended up in so much pain at home that my mom took me back to the hospital. She called the on-call surgeon cause the emergency room wouldn’t get me back and said I had to wait for hrs. The surgeon bypassed everything hearing me in pain over the phone and made it so I got in and in a room. After I got the right pain meds in me that I could hole down I did okay. I was sent home on Sunday and did so much better with the right pain meds.

I was approved for work-study and I know do work-study in the Spokane Community College Library. I have to say working there has opened me up so much more than I expected. I still try to keep things professional there but I’m slowly making friends. I’m still very quiet but not as much as when I started. I can actually talk to my co-workers and not be judged. My boss understands mental illness which helps so much. Most don’t get a boss who understands and is willing to work with you because of it. I had run out of a med and I was going through withdrawals not having it and I was having bad headaches and nausea. He gave me work to do that was quiet and said to work as long as I wanted if I needed to go home I could. I worked till someone else showed up to cover what I couldn’t but I couldn’t handle much more. I went home and curled up in bed trying to not throw up and a pillow over my face to help with the headache. My mom called everywhere so I could get the med cause my pharmacy said they didn’t get their shipment so I had to go somewhere else. We finally got my meds and I was good the next day getting it into me took the symptoms away. I can’t believe how happy I am at the library. I never thought I would open up the way I have. I know I could open up more but I’m happy. I’ve gone through the years closed off emotionally, it feels so different opening up emotionally to those around me. The only person outside of the family who seen me open up is my best friend Cindy and my husband, Brandon. I can only go up from here emotionally. D.B.T. opened the door and school is opening that door even more than work slammed that door open lol and I don’t mind. I’m happy and I want to stay that way and keep moving forward.

I haven’t gone to see very many movies due to school, work, and volunteering I just haven’t had time. So I don’t have much to say about this subject like I normally do. I try to watch new movies when I have time but mostly it’s been watching the same old ones I know cause I need to do my homework and not pay attention to the T.V… So the movies that play a great deal is Erin Brockovich, Green Mile, Jurassic Park, and Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias stand-up comedy. I try to watch different things but it’s hard cause I have so much homework at times. Especially when a paper is due and it has to be a certain amount of pages and words. Thankfully I enjoy writing so that parts not too bad it’s just when it comes to math. I hate math but I’m doing what I need to so I can pass the class.

I haven’t worn much makeup but I try when I’m not too tired in the mornings. I’ve canceled my subscriptions due to money being tight. I had it till December and I had to cancel after that. I didn’t want to cancel I just couldn’t afford it anymore. I have so much makeup LOL. I need to try and use what I have and try not to get more but that won’t happen I’ll still buy makeup LOL.

I now volunteer at Project Beauty Share here in town. This is their website I love volunteering there. I’ve been doing it since October 26, 2019. I first went there to sanitize makeup. Then I asked about doing it on another day and they said they needed help on Mondays. Which worked perfectly with my school schedule. I feel so good feeling needed. They tell me all the time that they appreciate the work that I do for them. I open mail with them and presort the makeup that needs to be sanitized. The makeup is sanitized each Wednesday and on certain Saturdays. I can’t say how much I thoroughly enjoy helping out there. My boss also works with me so I can do it and don’t schedule me for Mondays. I found out about Project Beauty Share through Thataylaa on YouTube. This is the link to her YouTube that goes by Taylor Wynn now. I first started following her when she was doing 15 days of foundation. Where she tried out a foundation for 15 days in a row. I started following her during her first round of doing that. She now does it every I think 6 months and works with Project Beauty Share to raise money and also does Voting on a certain nonprofit organization to do a meetup at. The organization that gets the most votes Taylor does a meet up at and they give $5,000. Last time they raised so much they were able to give money to the other organizations. Which I love so much. I love that Taylor brings these organizations to the public eye so people know where and what to donate to. Volunteering with them is helping to keep my door propped open so I can open up more. I’m learning to be so happy and it feels so unreal.

On April 23, 2019, I lost Rocko.

I know I said no negative but this is what happened. I miss him so much. I stayed with him until the bitter end. His spin was rupturing and he couldn’t walk or hold his bowel movements. We had a diaper on him to help with his bladder. We didn’t mind having to change his diaper and give him meds. I was willing to spend what I had to to keep him comfortable. But I did everything the vet told me to and he still was suffering. We took him in carrying him on his blanket. The vet looked at him and told us what we feared. He was getting worse and was not reacting to the meds as they had hoped. He could get surgery but they didn’t feel it would help him there was not a big chance that it would help. I made the hard decision to end his suffering. I cried so much and I hurt emotionally so much. I didn’t plan on getting any more pets for a while. I got Rocko’s ashes back on April 29 along with a cast of his pawprint. I cried so hard when I got it. I struggled to do my homework during that time but I did what I had to. I guess homework helped to keep my mind occupied. I was also going to D.B.T. classes and seeing my therapist helped me emotionally. On May 5, 2019, I went to look at cats at Spokanimal I didn’t expect to bring any of them home. But I met my Yuki. He was meowing and pawing at me and even licking my hand. He’s from California he was displaced due to the fires down there and no one claimed him. He had no microchip and he was at a shelter that was so full that they couldn’t handle how many cats they had. So he was sent up here. He was supposed to go to Scraps but they were closed when they got up here and Spoanimal was open. They took all the kitties. That same day mom saw a kitty that reminded her of a cat she had when she was young. I got her for my mom. Her name is Sophia-sassy-pants lol. I love them with all my heart. When we went to get their licenses we looked at the kitties and saw a black kitty that was so lovely. My husband really wanted a black cat so I got her for him. Her name is Cleopatra. She’s such a love bug.

I love all our kitties but I still longed to have a dog. I was looking online at classifieds and saw an ad for Great Pyrenees puppies. We were just going to get me one at first until my mom saw them. She didn’t want to leave the one that was glued to her. So we both got puppies.

Mine is named Angel and moms is named Daisy. We got them on December 7, 2019. My brother was kind enough to take mom and me to get them in Sprague, WA. We would’ve gotten lost if mom and I went lol at least my brother knew the area due to fishing in that area. I’ve been so happy with them they’re our fluffy marshmallows lol until they become our fluffy polar bears. I know they’re going to get big. Everyone keeps saying they’re going to get huge. Like we’ve never had big dogs before. Sargent Rockhead was 130lbs alone if not more. Angel and Daisy’s parents were 150lbs. They were on-site and were so loving. I love all our furbabies when we move to a bigger house mom and I plan on getting 2 rottweiler puppies.

Right now we’re in a small one-bedroom house. The house we were in was foreclosed on due to my grandparent’s not making the payments on the house. I know a lot of people think we should sue and what not but I don’t have any hard feelings towards them. Things happen and I understand. Yeah, it sucks but we can’t change what has come to pass. And I don’t want to waste my energy being angry about it. I’ve learned that things happen and there’s a lot I can’t change so the only thing I can control is how I react and respond. So, I have no hard feelings towards them. I know our living situation is cramped but I don’t mind. We’ll find a new bigger place to live sooner or later.

Now for books, I haven’t read much for fun except I did read The Hobbit over Christmas break. It was nice to read something that I didn’t feel forced to read. Don’t get me wrong the books I had to read for English 99 and 101 were really good. One I read twice. Which was The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead. Here’s a link to buy the book.

I read it for English 101 and its historic fiction. So, it’s based on events that happened but the characters were fiction. It was a very moving book about a boy who was sent to the Nickel Academy for stealing a car when he didn’t steal it he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It talks about what he suffered at the academy and how he was abused. It talks about how he and his friend escaped from there and one of them was killed. It talked about so much that happened. It’s so sad that the story is based on facts. The other book that we had to read was Educated By Tara Westover. Here’s a link to purchase this book.

It’s a memoir about a woman who basically bullshitted her way into college without high school education. Her parents, well, mostly her father, was completely against public education. He was against the government and he thought he was apart of Ruby Ridge that happened in North Idaho. When he had nothing to do with it. Ruby Ridge really did happen in north Idaho. Everything that happened in the book was looked into and found to be true. The publisher is known for making sure things are facts before putting it out there that a story is based on facts. Her whole family says that she made it all up and that she’s crazy. It’s a really good story and I would highly recommend both books. I can’t remember the book I read in English 99 but it was alright not sure if I will read it again but it was good.

I know I haven’t posted on here in so long but I have been busy with life. I want to post on here more, I know I say that every time but I need to remember to do things for myself, that I enjoy. I’m trying to take care of myself. I’m taking care of the things around me before I’m taking care of myself and I need to remember myself. I’ve stopped compulsively eating but that’s changed to compulsively shopping. I’m trying to get myself under control. I’m seeing a therapist but she’s a bit of a flake and I can’t depend on her. I’m thinking of finding someone else that is more reliable. That knows about people with B.P.D. and about D.B.T. it’s something that I need in a therapist. I’m trying to work on what I need to so I can be better emotionally and physically.

I hope to try and make this at least a weekly thing. We’ll see especially when it comes to homework. So, I hope to talk to you guys again in a week. Till then, later!

It’s been awhile…


I know its been awhile sense I last posted on here. I’ve been dealing with my mental issues this whole time. I’m in counseling and I’m ready to get back into posting on here. I got an advent calendar for makeup and one for socks. The socks are Nightmare Before Christmas and the makeup is from Glamourdolleyes.  I still get a monthly box from Glamourdolleyes and Boxycharm. I’m gonna try to post those on here too. There is so much I want to do. I’m determined to get back into doing my makeup. I haven’t worn makeup in so long. My counselor is encouraging me to get back into the things I love. So, yeah… I haven’t read much except what my counselor recommends to me.  So, I just wanted to post on here that I’m gonna try to do more. Hopefully I keep up with this like I used to. My first day on my advent calendar is on Thursday. It’ll be my sock one. The next day will be sock and makeup, so on and so forth…

I’m still alive lol


So, yeah… It’s been awhile sense I’ve done much.

I’ve been in a very difficult state of mind lately. It’s made it very difficult for me to keep doing things I enjoy. Hence why I haven’t posted I awhile…

I’m currently getting help to try and get myself out of this “funk” so to speak. Getting mental issues under control is exhausting. It’s exhausting trying to move through it dad after day. I am trying and doing everything I can to take control over my mind again. Of course it’s with the help of medication, that is much needed. I posted a couple videos on YouTube trying to talk about what I’m going through. So, yeah… I’m gonna try to post on there more… It’s just hard battling my own mind… Convincing myself to keep pushing… To keep fighting everyday… So I can’t promise to post all the time on there or here. Maybe after we get the right medication in me. I can get back on to doing things that make me happy.

So yeah, I’m going to behavioral therapy, taking the medications I’m being prescribed at therapy. So I’m on mood stabilizers and antidepressants. We’ll see if they want me to take anything else later on.

Probably wondering why I suddenly decided to be on medication and go to therapy. I’m bipolar. I ended up having a severe manic episode. Lets just say it took a toll on my mind, my marriage, and I was becoming a risk to myself. I care to much about my family. I know if something happens to me it’ll cause them pain and I don’t want that. I love my family. I love my husband. I knows there’s something out of balance in my brain. So I’m taking the steps to take control over it and not letting it control me and my life. So yeah…

Other than that this is what’s been going on.


I haven’t worn makeup much sense last year in June. I think I’ve worn it about four times sense then. I still collect it. I try and learn more about it. There’s only so much I can do without practicing. I’ll have to start doing it again to get better at it.

I did get a white foundation to mix in with my other foundations. Sense I’m so porcelain. It’s so hard to find foundations light enough for me that doesn’t cost an arm and leg. I’m thinking of saving up for the new Kat Von D foundation in 41 Light Neutral. The other one that was the lightest before that one was too pink for my skin. I need more neutral or yellow toned.

So yeah, hopefully I can get back into doing it here soon. I do miss it.


I’ve been watching Netflix a lot and Vudu. I do wonder if my husband ever gets annoyed with what I watch. I tend to watch the same thing over and over. I’m not sure why. The only thing I’ve been watching that hasn’t been repeats in Criminal Minds. I’m on the fifth season and there’s eleven soon to be twelve. Also been watching the Power Puff Girls lol. Gotta love feeling nostalgic (^_^) Other than that I’ve been hooked to Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, LOTR, The Hobbit and Of course Sweeney Todd. I switch back and for from Netflix and Vudu.

Oh yeah! I watched a movie on Netflix called Wolf Cop. It was a stupid but funny B horror movie. I can only wonder if they’re gonna come out with a second one.


Haven’t read much lately. What I did read was “Alice” By: Cristina Henry and I started “The Dragon Lords” By: Jon Hollins. He’s a new Author and that is his first book. I know it’s going to be a series I just don’t know how many books is gonna be in the series. It’s a good fantasy book. Fun so far. I’m not too far into it though. I also got the second book to the Alice series, “Red Queen”. I’m glad the series is only a two book series. I don’t have to wait a year and a half for the next one. The author is writing another book I’m interested in reading called “Lost Boy” It’s supposed to be a spin off of Peter Pan. “Alice” is a spin off of “Alice in Wonderland,” I really like the way she did the spin off of it. It has a good suspenseful twist to it. Very bloody through the book. Still interesting though.

So yeah, I haven’t read too much. If I read anything else I can’t think of it at the moment. Hopefully I can get back into it once I can get my mind taken care of.


Speaking of taking care of my mind. I’m looking into going back to school. I really want to feel useful. I want to feel like I’m accomplishing something. I’m looking into studying Science Biology. If I get my AA for it I can look into transferring to a four year college to get my masters. Though, we’ll see what happens. I figure I can get an AA in biology then I can look into all the fields it can lead into. I’m also thinking of learning ASL. If I decide to go into Zoology I can use it with chimps and gorillas. I just feel it would be very beneficial no matter what field I decide to go into.

So, I’m gonna start refreshing my memory with math and language arts. I haven’t done a lot of the math that I learned in school lol. I did get pretty high into math. So it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Just gotta refresh my memory. I think the main thing I might have issues with is keeping with taking notes. I’ll find out from my parent’s how hard it is to take notes lol. So yeah, my parents are going back to school for Horticulture. I’m happy for them. I’m gonna do what I can to help them if they need it.

What else??? Hmmm…..

I was down to 189lbs but getting on the meds I went back up to 210. We’re switching meds to keep me from gaining more. Especially sense I haven’t changed anything, sense starting them. They were also making me shake really bad. It was very difficult to do anything. I’m still shaking a bit but not as much as I was. Which is good. Hopefully it stops completely when I start the new meds. I’m being weaned off the ones right now. I start the new ones Saturday. These new ones are supposed to help with weight loss. We’ll see what happens.

Something funny is my friend wants to see me in pink hair. So the deal is I’ll dye my hair pink if someone pays for my next tattoo. She said she’s saving up lol. If you don’t know I have a thing about pink. It’s not something I like to wear. At. All. Needless to say it’s not my favorite color. That would be purple.

Hmmm…. can’t think of anything else for now. I’ll try and post again but no promises due to how my mind has been. Oh! If you want to see the videos I posted go here

It’s a new year!


I haven’t posted for a few weeks and I’m sorry about that. I’m gonna try to do better about posting. So this post will be an update on what’s been going on the past few weeks.
OK so first of all, I’m doing good. Stomach is doing good for now. Just gotta make extra sure I avoid gluten.
We gave presents to the girls on Christmas Eve. Sense everyone had plans for Christmas day or wanted to use the day to lounge. I cooked dinner so my mom could relax. I did ask for her help on a couple things but for the most part I did it. I made a glazed ham. Mom and Brandon got one each from their boss. He gives one to everyone for every Christmas. And of course we had three fixings. I made apple crisp for dessert. I’m not a big pumpkin pie person. I love apples.
I told my mom not to get me anything. Did she listen? No. She got me a soft Seahawks blanket. A portable DVD player and some makeup. Yes, she spoiled me. I like everything I got. I’ve been using everything.
Then our dog Jeb stepped on a nail or something. It went between the pads on his foot and up his foot about an inch and a half. It severed an artery. They had to put an artificial clot in it to stop the bleeding. So now he has to wear a boot on his foot for when he goes out side and has to be walked on a leash. Of course he has the cone if shame on his head. So he hasn’t been happy. He should have the stitches out and cone off Tuesday. I can’t wait. He’s been ramming everyone with his hood.
New years Eve was my parents wedding anniversary. They went out to Red Robin for dinner. Brandon and me stayed home to take care of Jeb. I didn’t stay awake for the ball to drop. I fell asleep at 10:30. I was tired. Same thing happened last year.
I’ve decided to work on a mood blanket for 2016. For those wondering what that is. It’s where you crochet a Granny square or a line of a blanket each day corresponding with your mood for that day. I’m doing granny squares. Along with the connecting as you go method of putting it together. In gonna do 15 across and I think that’ll mean it’ll be 24 down. I’m gonna do a temp blanket as well. I don’t have the yarn for it. So, I’ve been writing down the temperature each day in my journal I’m keeping for my mood blanket. I’m also trying to be more active online. So I’ve decided to post my progress of my blanket. Right now I’ve just put pictures on the granny squares I’ve done on my Instagram account. That’s linked to my other accounts.
Been doing pretty good so far.
I went to the doctors yesterday. Well, it was the obgyn. I now have to go in for an endoscopy to see if I gave endometriosis. So yea… The endoscopy is a surgical procedure. I go in on the second for it. I’m nervous. I know everything will be fine. Just nervous about it in general.
So yea that’s pretty much it. I haven’t been doing a whole lot. I’ll try to post again. But no promises lol. Well, till next time. Later!

Feeling better…


Well, I’m doing a lot better. I’m finally able to eat solid food. I’ve been able to for the past couple days now. I’m glad that I don’t feel like I’m starving myself. Though, I’m keeping track of my calorie intake. I want to make sure I’m getting enough and I don’t over indulge. I’ve been staying at 193lbs. I’m gonna start getting back into yoga. Doc told me not to do more than that right now since my joints hurt so much when I work out. He wants me to work up to doing more intense workouts.
I got a basic yoga pack of with 3 DVDs for beginners. I want to start slow and work my way up. Don’t want to pull or strain anything. I’m certain all my muscles and joints are badly out of shape. So yeah…
Oh here’s the pack I got…


It’s a simple kit but it works for now.
Brandon got a yoga mat on cyber Monday so that’ll come in handy.
I got crochet hooks on cyber Monday. They’re made of bamboo…


I’m happy with them. Got some sizes that I don’t have. (∩_∩).
We celebrated brandons birthday. He got Ferraro’s for dinner. Rest of us had tater tot casserole. I couldn’t eat much but it was soft enough so I could have a little. I also made him strawberry cheesecake. It turned out great. I also made coffee cheesecake and that was a failure. I added way to much gelatin. Otherwise everything was good.
So yea, not much has been going on. Watching movies and laying in bed a lot. Being bored. If I think of anything else I’ll post again. For now we’ll leave it at this. Later!